It's hard to believe that it's almost Christmas. The holiday season has flown just like it always does. This time last year I was frantically rolling out the Christmas program for SMS and trying to wrap up the end of the year business for the New Year. Now, I'm wearily wrapping up the end of my first semester of law school. Three exams down and one more to go tomorrow morning. I'm trying to muster the motivation and the ability to retain all the information needed to do well tomorrow morning but exhaustion and indifference is ruling the day. Alot has been going on personally and at school. My grandmother fell and broke her hip about 3 weeks ago and had to have surgery. After being released from the hospital, she collapsed and was brought back in. They discovered a clot and that her system had turned septic so she had to have emergency surgery in which they removed her colon. She's been in critical but stable condition for the last week and a half. She's my last living grandparent and one of the funniest people I've ever met. My family is beside themselves - she's the glue that keeps our family together. This came shortly after she lost my grandfather and now I wonder if she's fighting to stay alive or if she wants to go on to be with him. She's not one to be sick or incapacitated. She doesn't want to be a burden to anyone. And boy is she going to be mad when she finds out that she doesn't have a colon anymore and has to use one of those bags. Lookout doctor! Not to mention she can't walk around. I hate that I'm thousands of miles away in the midst of exams and can't go home to hold her hand for just a little while.
My mom is also going through a tough time. Her boyfriend B had triple bypass surgery this week and although she's putting up a strong front, I know better. She lost her father to complications resulting from the same surgery. He came through the surgery just fine but will have a long recovery. He has been so good to my mom and really cares for her. Love in action for sure. I just hope that he makes a full recovery and that they have many more years together. They both deserve to live long happy lives.
So in spite of all that's going on at school, I feel it shrinks in comparison to what my family is going through with the loss of my grandfather, the potential loss of my grandmother, and B's recovery. How am I supposed to focus and do well when all I want to do is go home. I don't know. I just hope that I can do well enough to stick around for the Spring semester. Christmas will be bittersweet this year and hopefully full of joy for our family in that we will be celebrating each other and the full recovery of Granny and B and remembering Gramps.
