Time is tapping me on the shoulder

Today, time caught up with me and winked. I found out through friends that three of the last four guys that I dated are ALL married and have been for the last year or so. Wow. How did that happen? How long ago was that when we went out? Were they in a place to get married then? Could that have been me that they proposed to? Although I am happy for each of them, I can't help but wonder where I am in terms of marriage. I usually come to the conclusion that I'm very happy with where I am right now and that I am very happy with Boyfriend. I'm in no hurry at all to get married and I'm not even sure if I want to. I've been thinking about it alot lately which is natural since more and more of our friends are getting married. It seems like BF and I are the only ones who aren't. And so, I check in with myself to see how I'm feeling about it at the moment. And where would I be if he started pressuring me about it or just outright proposed to me. That's a very different analysis. I kind of like the idea of receiving a romantic proposal and the thought of being really excited about getting married is thrilling but at the same time I'm so not ready to be asked or pressured about it. It's like a fun toy that I like to play with every once in a while but not every day because it wouldn't be nearly as fun. That may not make sense at all to anyone else besides myself but sometimes I don't want to know what's coming around the bend. And I like the idea of just giving myself over to the universe and just allowing life to take me on its twists and turns with little resistance or force.